As I write this  a haunting baseline is going through my head.  The baseline when one hears it the mind goes back to the 1990s.  The baseline has Kurt Cobain's voice over it the song "Come As You Are".  The time of James Lee Clark dwindles.  Inescapable is the memory he came crashing into my life.  It was on a phone in the staff lounge of LLYC talking to my mother: two teens had gotten murdered.  The next question was who.  The first answer I did not know for a split second good I did not know him.  The next two words hit me with a force I have never encountered "Cari Crews."   Rage and Pain hit me I remember vividly wanting to drive my fist through the wall above the phone. 

What do you say a wind blows into your life...you grow accustomed to it.  The wound on your heart remains.  It at times freak you out how sensitive you are.  Reading a news report about the upcoming execution like an explosion the grief came up.  Tears almost found their way out.   There are names in passing which have an effect on my heart akin to slapping a sunburn.  Cobain's words  battered weary.  "Come as you are" The deeper growl of "Memoria"

 Since I started this James Lee Clark was executed.  His last words an insult to those of us who loved Cari.  Outside the death house John Lennon's Piano made an appearance recently.   I laugh a bit fittingly Cari might  have had a grin her idealism living up to Churchill's adage.   Waiting to hear word for his execution reading the articles about the piano brought tears to my eyes.  I sobbed when I read news reports of his execution like I did after her death on several occasions.  I called my folks to tell them I love them.  The wound  upon my soul fresh as it was when it first was inflicted.     It feels as if a wind that defined the bulk of my life has suddenly ceased.  The unknown killers of Andrew Gover are probably still around.  I desire them to bow down before Jesus Christ and one fine day I would like to see them in heaven.  Ronnie Jo Neil sits on death row.  During that trial I talked to classmate who knew Cari online as I was hearing word of another trial of another man who raped and murdered a loved one.  Cari's memory was a voice reminding me to pray for Ronnie Jo Neil.