As we were shutting down Matt drove up. His long blond hair and at times blunt personality was a God send. He walked in "Heard you had a hell of 1st day." I chuckled, he then locked eyes at me and I knew he was about to fire something. Matt started "That was a missionary's kid that died in plane crash apparently he had gone over the edge in Africa about a month ago disappeared from sight scrounged up enough cash to buy an airplane and well had been trying to numb his mind." Matt continued"from what I know he was hell bent on his own destruction. His folks told me about him at church. Don't give yourself a guilt trip about treat it just like Jeno's firing on workcrew raise your leg and piss on it there was not a thing you could have done to stop it." My jaw was getting sore and Matt said, "Your jaw is swollen"

Just then there was knocking on the door. Matt opened it and in came a man and his wife. Matt then said "Stephen meet Doug and Majorie Mike's parents." Majorie looked at my jaw and recommended that I get ice on it. Clint fetched a bag. She asked me what happened. I told her my story as her eyes burned a hole in me. She then said "You did what you could I know you may regret the two beers but he is a customer and you can not deny service to a sober customer and tried physically to block his exit and paid a price. Don't feel guilt he is now at home and thanks for your efforts." She had wet eyes and hugged me. Doug looked at me and said don't kick yourself. I thanked them and they left off to Kerrville. Ice was put on my jaw.

That night I spent many a thought at his direction. The encounter scared me. What do I say to a Christian gone bad; what do I say to a believer who knows the truth and lost hope? I feared I might become him. Looking back on it I was about to take more then a few steps in his shoes. I understand him now the man who like a storm christened the Backroads Buzzard's Café. I still wonder about him. Matt offered to help while I went to finish flight training and get myself a new airplane a Super Decathlon with 180 horses and a constant speed prop. I had ordered it that week.

I begged and pleaded to a flight surgeon and neurologist my first day in Dallas to sign off my medical. I went promptly to the Ft. Worth FSDO and got my medical back. I then scheduled a week of flights hoping that Friday afternoon would have me with a new pilot's license.

The week was a blur my nerves and fine motor system had finally taken to flying and with two hour long hops with everything tossed at me by a demanding instructor it looked as if the checkride was going to be that Friday. Claire and I kept talking but kept our Fry visits to minimum wanting to get my pilot's license. The café got lots of media attention even though my attachment to it was kept out of the press. I am forever grateful for Matt and Clint of that. Friday rolled around and that morning my new Super Decathlon was delivered to Denton. I found a flight instructor who had the time to do the tailwheel endorsement at the Café. I also took the check-ride Friday that turned out to be an anti-climax I passed with an eighty-five from a hard examiner. Claire and I went to the Tomato to celebrate.

I walked up to our traditional spot upper level on the wall closest to the barbershop. I ate my slice of pizza and drank a large cup of coffee when Robert and Kathrine walked in. They sat up and we made friendly conversation. Then Kathrine announced that she had run away from home. All the pain and frustration within me ignited with atomic bomb intensity. I looked her dead in the eyes and said, "You ran away from a paradise many would kill to be in." She stood there shocked at the harshness of my words. My stare was harsh as I delivered the words. I made no attempt to hide my anger or frustration. Robert laughed. I made a call to my instructor to be at my airplane. I called Clint to turn the newly installed air-field lights on. I was trying to hold it together for the drive and flight the anger there was just beneath the surface waiting just waiting to explode outwards as I sped and man handled my tan turd on the streets of Denton. I then dropped Claire off and packed and headed towards the airport.

I met my instructor drew up a flight plan with a fuel stop in Austin and my instructor in back we went through the pre-flight checklist and I got my first look at my new airplane making sure everything was in tip top shape. I fired up the engine and got my first lesson taxing and using S turns to clear my way. The instructor then took over till near the end of the runway and he coached me through the runup with a constant speed prop. We then did a clearing turn and he did take off on 17.

I quickly called regional approach and south of Alliance I got clearance to enter Class B airspace. She was with the throttle forward and prop forward all the way to altitude. I also called Ft Worth radio to activate my night VFR flight plan. I pulled the power back and eased it 23,000 rpm and 21 inches of manifold pressure and leaned to best engine power and we headed south-southwest and I trimmed the airplane for cruise following Interstate 35 to Austin doing 125 mph on the ground. I got a series of frequency changes along the route DFW approach to DFW Departure to Waco approach to Waco Departure to Gray approach to Gray Departure Finally Austin Approach which gave us a parachute drop into Austin. I taxied into Austin Aero.

The airplane was filled up and I steeled myself for the hard navigation for the next leg. My flight plan to the café had crossing radials off two VOR's to create what amounted to an intsturment approach fix. I rehearsed in my head what was to happen as I closed one flight plan and started getting ready for another. I was enjoying having two radios in the airplane.

My instructor continued his lesson on taxing as I taxied to the southeast side of the small parallel and received a squawk code and clearance to climb to 8500 after turning onto heading. Once again the climb was at full juice I also activated my flight plan. I was there in 8 minutes before Johnson City. Kerrville was faintly visible ahead. I was navigating by VOR's and flying almost solely by instruments. We nipped the North side of Kerrville and I continued on a West-SouthWest heading crossing Interstate ten where I had intended to smiling at my navigation. There was more then a bit of luck involved as well. I hit the crossing radials just before the faint intersection of 27 and 83. I had adapted the speed of the airplane and I pulled the power back and flattened the prop of high rpm and began a rapid descent leaving a slightly lean mixture to avoid shock cooling. I saw the runway ahead lit up. I had a long straight in final with no wind. The instructor landed the airplane and quickly brought it to a halt. My airplane was tied down and as I called flight service the restraint gave way and I hung up the phone.

Clint asked what happened and why was I here 12 hours early. The bomb that was fused now went off safetly on the ground. At that moment all the pain and frustration I had been holding back that had been building for the last four years just detonated: "That damn Kat running from a paradise people would kill to have. I would have loved to been raised by her parents she is so damn stupid. She does not know what is like to have the shit beat of her she doesn't know what a lie does damn it she could have looked into my eyes sin sucks Kat. Sin is real cat look damn it see that pain see that fear see that tension Kat look damn it look at the loneliness Kat that is what sin does this for real I am sick and tired of burying friends. Erin's dead Cindy might be. Bull became what killed many in New Braunfels. I'm sick of seeing people self-destruct and not being able to damn thing about it. I'm sick and tired of carnage. Rob Corey sitting all proud and happy his clenched fist in anger at Karrie's murder his master killed her doesn't that jackass see that. That bastard wanted vengeance on the murder wanted him to die the hell with what Karrie would have wanted. Geno damn it you can't have it both ways! Your family life sucked you wore that like a badge like fricken excuse to be a stupid jackass. Christ heals but you gotta abandon hell to see heaven. Robert men with your same self-centered evil nihilism killed one of our friends! You and Karrie's killers are brothers Robert you serve the same master don't you dare bitch about Karrie's murder you embrace heartbreak. I am sick and tired of seeing self destruct God I predicted Kathrine's self destruction two damn years before it happened. I could do a damned thing about. What good does it do to see it coming and not be able to do jack shit about it! I'm sick about being right when people are going to self-destruct God! I want my damn radar to be wrong ten times." I started crying all the people had buried all the people who had fallen off my scope and were on their way to destruction weighed heavy on my heart the carnage had been way too much the graves too many the victories too few. I cried myself to sleep that night. I cried till I was out of tears.