The whole week wound by slowly then on Wednesday April 15th an event that would rock the nation and café included happened in Oklahoma City. I had just gone into Hoone Hall to get advising from John Huddleton my antagonist as well as advisor when as I glanced at the TV I saw the Murrow Federal Building. My first reaction was "What happened." As I found out I was shocked. If it was Arab terrorists well I knew the Air Force and Navy were well suited to be fists of US anger and the people responsible for the bombing themselves would be victims of such things going bang boom and thud in the night. I was pessimistic about the survivor count from the building and I was saddened at the loss of life. I was scared that it just might be domestic terrorism. I finished classes for the day and headed out in desperate prep for the open Mic night. Kim warned me that she believed that it was domestic terrorism and would speak out to inbreds of Leakey that night. I knew darn well the cafe could turn into a war zone with the crowd of hippies and locals a flame was burning and gasoline was promised to be added.

I did not trust myself enough to fly. I almost rolled the tan turd over about four times as I drove the snake like 39 through the Guadalupe Valley almost a mad man behind the wheel. The 82 Mercury Lynx was not the kind of car you put the lash to and expect to go unpunished. It seemed surreal as the cafe was drawn so I was drawn into a battle between two forces. I had long ago abandoned one for the other. Rumor was already ripe about domestic terrorism and the word militia had become sexy in the media lexicon as I bounced between WOAI and KTSA hearing slightly different spin on the event. I was angry how the whole situation could be abused for political gain. I was angry at the horrifying loss of life. When I got to the cafe Donna was wondering why it had been so quiet and once again she saw a fire burning behind my eyes was bright. Something was on my mind. She asked what was on my mind not quite sure if she really wanted to find out the answer. I told her what happened and how Kim had warned me that she would be at the cafe. I got hard to work on my response. Donna covered the other customer. I let out a sly grin knowing full well that a perverse prayer had been answered. A major skirmish in the culture war was about to be fought I found myself getting ready to be in the thick of it. I wanted darn sure not to in any way shape or form glorify the deed. I was fearful at the backlash and anyone who wanted smaller government considered a terrorist. First and foremost in my mind personally the bombing was an act of mass murder. The one who blew the building up committed mass murder. A whole host of people now had the start of an ordeal I myself was struggling through still: the violent loss of a friend. I was and am fervently against the death penalty but I would have gladly thrown away the key on the murder. I had lost someone due to murder and I knew the violent convulsions losing a friend causes. I could not help but cringe at the thought that people lost family members knowing that they were going through a living hell. I had to say that in order to calm the mass hysteria that was building. It reeked of Mc Carthy hearings. I wished I had known the guitar part "John Birch Society Blues." Instead I had settle for a quote from Star Trek the Next Generation from a Mc Carthyism episode. I also brushed up on my feelings regarding the Waco tragedy. I was to clarify the right's position and in doing so I had to be fluent in left speak essay. I was prepared. I could almost feel the adrenaline hit my system.

The dinner rush started as Clint arrived. He asked "You hiring?" He had a sense of humor. First I chuckled and then I told him simply if he wanted to work to get into the kitchen. I asked what brought him down. He simply responded, "Father knows best and I had my ears open." I asked him if he wanted to take the honors of handling the open Mic. He responded, "You can with your mouth cut to the heart of an issue besides looks like you got an essay ready." He then tossed me a mock salute.

It was time for the heart to speak and emotion buried was given a wedding to some basic logic. Things were going to profile and I was enjoying the ride. In her essay I heard words I dreaded. She was angry and she had her scapegoats in mind. It was something out of a politically correct nightmare. Her friends were happy. The crowd was angry getting ready to stomp out, as I came up the microphone. I had done this before and with a flick of the stick I was now dialed in three G's coming onto target fast. I too was focused as my mind flashed me back the week after I first heard the news of my friend's murder. I stared Kim right in the eye as I read:

A heart being ripped out without anesthetic. An emotional explosion that goes and on for more than a month as piece of your very being is torn away and it never seems to end. The shock isn't one wave then over it is almost never ending. The shock becomes a companion for days on end your whole world rattled. If you must lose a friend to a violent death I'm speaking from experience suicide is a whole lot easier to deal with than murder. A suicide a single shock having a friend murdered the shock continues like a never ending dynamite blast aimed at your very soul. I knew I was not going to be the last human being to have a friend murdered. Tonight though the number of people that knows that torment has grown much larger. I don't want to fathom the pain of those who lost family members it must be ten times worse. One human being took the life of many today. May God direct the law enforcement officials to him as public declaration that we as a society cannot and will not tolerate the whole sale slaughter of innocent human beings.

Alas in this horror a second horror emerges. A people free will give up that sacred liberty along with reason for safety. Ben Franklin says that those who are willing to make that trade deserve neither. The right to say what is on our mind, the right to believe as we se fit the right to go and do as we please without having some authority know. Those are American rights. Whoever committed mass murder infringed on those rights by taking the lives of many. He violated all those rights since over a hundred people can no longer pursue those rights since they are dead. Yet the bomb was not the only threat to civil debate in this nation you have heard already the other threat. That threat based that certain speech causes this bombing and inflames emotion therefore this speech is worthy of censorship. This country was founded on the belief that a government that governs less governs best. Now many are using the deplorable act of one human that has no place in society to type cast those who dislike the growing power of the federal government. No where in Rush Limbaugh's bombastic sarcastic monologues has he advocated armed revolt against the government in anything other than satiric bend. Nowhere in any decent political commentary is there are a call for armed revolt blowing up children and civil servants. Has Joseph Mc Carthy changed parities? Those who dislike the large federal government are now viewed with suspicion and several indictments have been made about talk radio inflaming the rage. You heard one tonight. No talk radio is talk radio and most of it is by responsible broadcasters who may dislike the federal government but were aghast and horrified by the events of today. I will paraphrase a line from an episode of Star Trek The Next Generation "The road to dictatorship is perilously short and the second one speech is censored we have gone to far."

When I heard the news of the bombing I hurt. Too many people now know the torment I was put through little more a year ago and it lingers still today. Those that killed need to be removed from society at large and this society through laws and a fair trial must state in no uncertain terms that a bomb and mass murder are not forms of political discourse that are fit for a Constitutional Republic. By following the law and the Constitution we must reiterate murder is not discourse it is simply murder. By following our laws and granting a fair trial we defend the very values that were assaulted today. Our voices must be a call to fair justice not freedom of speech freedom of assembly and that awesome right to vote. We must also by our votes and by our reason maintain the freedoms that separate this nation from all the others. We must not give victory in any way shape or form the criminals who committed the horrific act today.

Kim looked at me stunned. I had delivered. The delivery was beyond textbook I had torched the room with emotion and behind the passion was raw bright reason. The weapon came off hot and on target Kim. The crowd was cheering and clapping. I had spoken what had been in their hearts. I had given voice to their anger at the event. I had voiced their fear the rapid politicizing of it. I saw Kim leave a confused look on her face. It was not one of anger. She was not angry with me I had brought up points she had failed to realize the gut and the mind were on the same page. I had won a small skirmish in a greater war.

We did the dishes in silence. It had been a turbulent day and each of our minds was going one hundred miles an hour in about fifty different directions. I was coming out of Mach and the essay had been a focal point of all my actions for the last three hours it was done. It had been done right yet coming down was always the hardest point. Clint told me that he had been impressed with my oratory and that it hit its intended mark. I replied, "For once I had a very solid delivery right on target and red- hot."

That night I had a strange nightmare. America had become a socialist dictatorship. I was fleeing San Antonio to the upper Frio Valley. I knew the area and I could hide in many different places with the thick brush reducing my IR signature. A van of Kerrville militia members came by. I was in the Gaudalupe Valley heading from San Antonio round about Comfort. They told me that they were going to raid San Antonio. I told them to wait guns had been taken away but we could still speak freely even though their was a ban on Christianity. I made a dash to an open field heading to New Braunfels they opened fire on me saying I had become weak. The nightmare ended.

I got up sweating and Clint had just woken up. He looked at me and asked, "Nightmare about a militia and a government gone mad." I looked at him and shook my head yes "Round Comfort." He responded "They got me heading For Yosemite somewhere West of Hamilton Welcome to the end times. It will get worse till Christ comes. Entropy applies to social science as well as physical science. Your relative moral standard time is just a measure of the degree of breakdown V buildup or common grace." I then asked, "How do you keep your head?" Clint responded, "As I found out here obedience to him is what matters results don't you'll lose more than you win but all that matters is that you ran the race and kept the faith. We are here to proclaim the gospel. As a result of believers common grace can build and at times society can be rebuilt and utopias spring up. That is only a byproduct. The New Braunfels you grew up and learned to love is gone forever any attempt to try to maintain it is sin and will ruin lives. I looked confused. Clint reiterated, "God is in control relax and be obedient to him because in the end that is the only thing that matters." The culture war is lost and will forever be lost yet he will come again and reign in glory. It lives that we invest in not time periods. Stop crying for yesterday you will never again see that America. I saw the point and went back to sleep.

The following morning Clint left with the sun. I headed back to school. Donna had been quiet through the night. She just mentioned that the Oklahoma City bombing was a tragedy and avoided weighing in on the issue. I was still stunned as I drove 27 to I-10. Between the Simpson trial and now the bombing it seemed as if America had gone mad. I was still trying to process what Clint had shared. I had been presented a truth to chew on and as I drove I chewed on it still wondering about the implications of it.

That day John Huddleton was raving about the local militia and how this town had always catered that kind of freak. He was right Kerrville and Hill Country might have voted against secession but since then it had become the haven for even the much-maligned John Birch Society. He then started going on about "Religious right adding fuel to the fire and that they were at least partially responsible and how they used hate speech." I replied, "Since this is a US History class aren't there 2 amendments on the constitution protecting freedom of speech and freedom of religion?" I had dared challenge him not that intellectually it was much of a challenge. He then went on all these old conservatives were so stupid he continued that the constitution was a living document and words changed meanings and those who thought otherwise were just plain old fashioned dumb and close-minded. I responded, "I'm taking critical thinking and congratulations you are using cheap demagoguery and the old ad homonym abusive fallacy I know many people with Phd's that believe that there is a right and a wrong. I have met one person with a Ph.D. in biology that does not believe in evolution." John Huddleton was getting upset. The mental maneuvering and the shots I took were instinct. I knew what he would do before it he did. It was not so much my comment but I was still bored in the post lunch class despite the debate and a nine-inch jaw extension on the yawn clearly indicated that I was not impressed. He had a habit of playing fast and loose with the facts and today he was in rare form. I this time decided to open my mouth. I found myself strangely tempted to register to vote in Kerr County for the sole purpose of voting against him as a city council man.